Twitch your nose. And laugh. Now

There is a sad sad song I just heard  and couldn't help but think about the many things in life that we take for granted. No, we don't do it deliberately, or do we?

When was the last time you hugged your mother? Or danced in the rain? When was the last time you bought your pet gifts? And laughed with your nose twitched at a cheesy joke? Or cooked for your best friends? When was the last time you remember remembering all these things?

When will we learn to value that which is ours, without focusing on acquiring that which is not ours? When will we learn when to be satisfied?

Don't you mistake me. I am not trying to establish dictatorship. AND, mind you, there are SO many things I take for granted myself. I am so used to, it had turned into an emotional construct. But I am trying to not. Before it is too late.

Go, curl up in your bed with a cup of hot coffee and a book by your side and listen to your favourite song and watch Kung Fu Panda later. And when it rains, don't forget to count the drops. Haha, dance, I mean.

The Inheritance Of Thoughts

My eyes reflect the colour of the sea. The black sky is not dark but full of light. Full of shining hope. It is raining. Mumbai is beautiful.

The sound of the waves, hitting against the gigantic rocks, take me to a distant land. I find peace amongst hundreds of other people in one of the noisiest and busiest roads of Mumbai. The sea, just brought me back to life.

I let my hair open as the strong wind hits my face. Walking on the gray footpath, there is too much I am thinking about but nothing on my mind. And I go back to yesterday. I have no regrets. I am glad I have lived enough to be here, to breathe in this sea. Raindrops wash away the tears streaming down my face.

I walk as if there is no end because I know there is no end to this. There is a sea inside of me, mighty and fearful, turbulent and vulnerable. And never-ending.

And I pause to look over the heavenly path, past the treacherous huge rocks, my eyes travel along the entire stretch as the waves come together to hold hands and create a white wall. I, pause life.

A pen in my hand. A tear in my eye. Music in my soul.
Just as I start to create the life, as I've wanted it to be.

This is Absolute happiness.
 This, is God.

  Photo Courtesy - Internet
*Marine Drive. 13th August, 11*
I want to be this sea forever.

The Raindrop Destiny

He looked out of the window tightly clutching the pen he held in his hand. It was the first heavy shower of the year. A great relief from the scorching heat. The wind, or the zephyr as he called it, rushed through his face.

He lived in the thirteenth floor thanks to which he was always a witness to city’s activity. He wasn’t interested generally. The activity outside in contrast to his passive life kept him away from the window most of the time. And, there was work.

The rain hadn’t emptied the streets of Calcutta at all. In fact, a number of people were actually out there enjoying the shower. He spotted Mrs. Misra with her 10 year old daughter by the windowsill chattering away holding a cup. Tea or coffee, he could not say. In the garden, four girls pranced about in the rain, taking full advantage of their adolescence. He recognized one of them, Akshi, his next-door neighbor. The song on his ITunes DJ changed. I’ll follow you into the dark – Death Cab for Cutie.

Adhikansh Mehra had always been a music addict. Any genre, any artist, if the song managed to touch his soul, it was his favorite. He had songs playing all the time. Morning, noon and night. Work and leisure.

His eyes hurt. He realized that he had been holding back his tears for a long time now. But he didn’t want to weep. He was a brave man, or he thought so at least. The song, the rain, the wind- it was getting into him. He looked into the photograph, and for the first time in months, he cried.

He cried holding the photograph close to his heart thinking about how much wrong he had done to her. How much he had kept her away. He remembered her first touch, so welcoming, as if she had already accepted him. Her beautiful eyes, curiously popping out. Her twinkling smile. Her first cry. Aditi. His daughter, Aditi. The reason why the chapters of his life closed, Aditi.

***

Adhikansh and Niyati were childhood sweethearts. They met in school, kindergarten itself. By class III, they were best friends. She gave him the notes she had written for herself; he gave her the chocolates, he had bought for himself. He called her Pie, she called him Pinky. She was four when he had asked her whether she would marry him. He had apparently read the word ‘marriage’ in some lesson and wanted to do the same with her.

They were perfect- individually and together. The hazel-eyed, tall, fair and handsome Adhikansh and the curly-haired, smart, sweet and beautiful Niyati. Chivalrous Adhikansh and Elegant Niyati. The only time they had been torn apart from each other was when Adhikansh’s father had been transferred to Delhi for 3 years. 36 months later, their love was intact.

Not that they were not different. He studied science, she studied arts. He was an athlete, she was a dancer. He played the mouth-organ, she played the piano. But the differences hardly mattered. From being mere school mates, they went on to be family friends, till the day they were declared ‘Man and Wife’. Their marriage was perfect. Yes, they did have the usual ‘You shouldn’t have’, ‘Why always me?’, “Don’t you know!’ quibbles but otherwise, it was P-E-R-F-E-C-T.

Perfect, till it lasted. 4 years of marriage and 17 years of a relationship lost its soul. He was 25. She was 24. And she was 8 months pregnant.

It was raining that night. Adhikansh switched on the music. “I’ll follow you into the dark”, he sang to her. “I don’t want you following me so soon”, she teased. “Maybe I won’t follow you at all, maybe I’ll lead”, he teased back “Let’s walk together.” The rain started getting heavier. The streets like any other of south Calcutta were jammed with water. Aditi-Aditya, the argument started. She wanted Aditya. He wanted Aditi. Niyati felt a jerk. Her breathing became heavier. “I think my water broke”, she spluttered.

He took a lot of time to reach the hospital. A little more than he should have. Niyati had almost choked by then. Taruni, her gyne and their family friend, consoled him. Don’t worry she said and the OT closed. Two hours passed. Taruni came out. “What… wha..?” Adhikansh couldn’t wait anymore. The entire family was waiting on the other end of the phone. “I could save only her”,. Adhikansh sighed sadly but relieved. “Your daughter Aditi, I could only save her. Sorry” Taruni said softly. That was it. Life, as Adhikansh knew, had ended.

***

The force of the wind increased. The zephyr, it seemed to be talking to him. Seven months back, he had cried – for no rhyme or reason. Once again, tears washed down his handsome face. The adoption papers were lying in front of him, the pen in his hand. Aditi would be one tomorrow. Adhikansh’s sister, Akanksha had planned to adopt her. In fact Aditi had been with Akanksha since birth. He would just have to sign to avoid further legal complications. He saw the photograph. She had his eyes. His eyes only. The rest of her face somehow belonged to her mother. The twitched nose, the curly hair. Would he ever be able to love this piece of flesh who had taken his life away from him? Adhikansh looked up and stared at the sky, taking in the wind – Niyati. Smiling. Hopeful Niyati. Brave Niyati. His Niyati.

 He picked up the phone. “Akanksha?” He asked. His voice cracked. “Yes Adhi.” “I want my daughter Akanksha. I want my Aditi back.”